YOU'RE *INFAMOUS*. that is *NOTHING* to be proud of.

i'm still trying to figure out the purpose of my mom stalking me- as if she assumes i'll praise her or give her something to be proud about when she reads my blog (which pretty much just consists of ALL the shit she does/has done to me). i think about what the pca who went with me to boston asked me, which was why i can't just live in minnesota and ignore my mom.. because she would take advantage of my location and LIE about how much support and care she gives me and people would just assume she's telling the truth because i'm in the same state as her and they'd support and care about me if the roles were reversed and they were in her spot with me as a daughter. my mom is narcissistic. she has absolutely NO concern for anything that doesn't benefit her or her image. my friends/people who live in my hometown i was raised assume that i'm over-exaggerating but i have a question for you: if YOUR mom held YOU in front of her while your dad was kicking and beating on her, so that you were kicked by your dad and had to go through AT LEAST two surgeries SO FAR to your bowel (abdominal organ)- COULD *YOU* JUST SWEEP THIS UNDER THE RUG AND ACT LIKE THINGS WERE OKAY?! ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE'S NEVER BROUGHT IT UP TO YOU IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE (I'M ASSUMING BECAUSE SHE'S ASHAMED). people might be condoning this shitty parenting with her supposed disability.. i didn't know that there were conditions that make people selfish, uncaring, and narcissistic.. there probably is.. it's called being a SHITTY person. people shouldn't wonder why i ran away and didn't let anyone know where i was going. i was trying to get away from this shit and i was a young punk that just assumed nothing could go wrong. i never had a DRINK of beer though. that shit stinks and it'd make me start gagging just by the smell of it. proof that i'm telling the truth would be how I was the one who ended up with a TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY while the driver walked away from the accident (he might've had a few physical therapy appointments and a day stay in the hospital but that's NOTHING compared to all the shit i've had to go through because of the accident) because alcohol paralyzes the immune system. so me not drinking at all makes sense because of all the shit i had to go through and how i was comatose for 6 months and had to go through rehabilitation for at least 15 years to get outta my wheelchair- which is OF COURSE ignored by amanda and the rest of my family who just enjoy the attention and sympathy for "helping" and "caring" about me.. which i can honestly say i don't remember the last time i spoke to any of them (except for my grandpa's nephew joe, who is the ONLY one who has even made the effort to communicate and care about me). i know my other relatives are probably saying, "OH.. JOE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES ABOUT HER?! LET'S LEAVE IT THAT WAY! LESS WORK FOR US!" because i can honestly say when i used to speak to my mom, she'd always tell me to ask joe about things because she recognized the LACK of care i get from amanda (who was supposed to be meant to help me according to my grandma before she died). amanda didn't find anything beneficial to her with helping me.. so she acts like "I GOT THIS!". i told my psychologist she always says that to me whenever i ask her for help and my psychologist looked at me confused and said, "HAS SHE EVER WORKED WITH SOMEONE WITH A TBI BEFORE?" and i told her that it didn't seem like it. THAT'S THE AMOUNT OF "HELP" I RECEIVE HERE AND I'M SUPPOSEDLY SUPPOSED TO GET MORE HELP AND "CARE" FROM FAMILY- SO THAT'S WHY I'VE STUCK AROUND HERE SO LONG! *rolls eyes* IF you couldn't take on the responsibility to help a family member in need- YOU SHOULD'VE FUCKIN SAID IT. YOU CAN'T EVEN ASSIST ME WITH ADVOCATING FOR ME TO GET MY DRIVER'S LICENSE AGAIN (WHICH MY GRANDMA CLAIMED OVER AND OVER YOU HAD PLANS TO HELP ME GET MY DRIVER'S LICENSE ALONG WITH A VEHICLE I COULD DRIVE AGAIN). so THAT'S FINE. i'll just go somewhere where they ACTUALLY have a useful transportation system which is used by everyone, so i don't have to be stranded in my apartment not doing anything because i can't get out of the apartment MYSELF because the transportation takes at least 20 minutes to get a ride and i'm still usually late. the problem with my life is mainly caused by having a selfish "support" system (except joe). that's the reason why it's taken so damn long just to do anything.